First of all, I have to thank you for all the wonderful messages
that you have written on the forum - we are both so unbelievably
touched, and I know how lucky I am to have found so many special
friends here who have been so supportive throughout my miscarriage,
pregnancy, and everything else.
It is amazing to be home again after 3 days in hospital and
I'm feeling elated. Yasmine has really settled down well and
we love her to bits - I didn't think it were possible to have
such intense emotions for anything. You may read my birht
story below and cringe, but believe me, it was worth all the
agony for our precious gift at the end.
My contractions began at around 3am on Friday morning, and
by 3 in the afternoon they were coming regularly at 5 minute
intervals, and I felt in enough pain to go in. I'd been wearing
my ten's machine the whole time and taken hot baths, as well
as used, at the advice of the hospital, clary sage and my
breast pump to start things off again when the contractions
slowed down. Drinking pineapple juice also helps.
When I got in I was already 4cm, and after that it all goes
a bit blurry. Being in the natural birth unit, I was only
allowed gas and air. I remember sitting in the birth pool,
totally on another planet, taking in the gas and air, and
concentrating on the breathing, all the while in agony and
wondering why I had put myself through this and not gone for
My contractions were particulalry fierce and coming with no
breaks in between, and I have to say, in total honesty, I
never imagined I would experience a pain so intense.
By 10:30pm I was finally 10cm and ready to start pushing -
and was told that the hard part was over. This is when things
really started to go wrong - they had me pushing for 2.5 hours,
far too long. I was in intense pain, and never actually felt
the urge to push. Yasmine was crowning early on, but clearly
wasn't going to come out.
Eventually Adam took the midwife aside and she admitted that
yes, I'd have to go the delivery suite and see the doctor,
as the baby was stuck.
This was my absolute low point. I was incoherent with pain,
screaming at everyone, and when the doctor finally arrived
after 20 minutes and started to examine me, I totally lost
it and screamed at him to get his hands out of me and give
me an epidural. Thankfully, the epidural came next, and never
have I felt so much relief in my life. Finally compus mentus
for the first time in almost 12 hours.
I had to sign a consent for a c section and was wheeled into
theatre where 8 people were working on me. The first problem
was that the drips that had been put in my arm started to
enter my tissues not my blood stream, so everything flared
up. I had an allergic reaction to the second line put in,
and my whole back and arms flared up. The doctor then tried
to get Yasmine out with ventouse - this failed. Forceps came
next, and then finally she arrived. Hearing her cry was the
best feeling in the world.
What had happened was that my pelvis was too small, and they
had been unable to get her out of the birth canal - next baby
will have to be delivered by c section. It was a miracle that
she was so small otherwise I dread to think how bad things
would have been.
I was unable to even hold me little darling for almost 2 hrs
- she was whipped away from me to be checked immediately.
Meanwhile, I was stitched up as I had been cut quite badly.
Next problem was that my placenta would not come out. So I
then had to be cut open again, and a doctor with small hands
had to manually extract - my
placenta was under my ribs, her hands were inside me...enough
So, finally, at 5:30 we were alone, our new family, after
a really traumatic day. And I have to say to anyone reading
this that it is all worth it - worth everything - because
as soon as you see this little face, you forget everything
that had gone on before.
So, I think I've bored everyone for long enough now, but you
get the idea....
Thank you again for all the support and messages - I really
wish I had the time to reply to everyone individually, and
hope you forgive me for not doing so...being a mummy definitely
is a full time job, but I love it already!
I'll be in touch again really soon.
Lots of love
I have never been so proud in my life. Natalie was incredibly
strong and positive throughout the whole labour and Yasmine
(to my eyes) can only be rivalled in beauty by her mum!
Both are doing OK and this is a short message because I can't
wait to get
back to see them. Oh. By the way, I owe all you forumites
a drink, as this forum over the last year has given Turtle
(and Mr Turtle when he sneakily logged on) a huge
amount of information, support and best of all friends! Thank